My colleague is lying about her son dying

November 2021 · 2 minute read
Dear JeremyWork & careersI have discovered that my colleague’s son is alive and away studying at university – she seems to be lying to abuse our trust

Twice a week we publish problems that will feature in a forthcoming Dear Jeremy advice column in the Saturday Guardian so that readers can offer their own advice and suggestions. We then print the best of your comments alongside Jeremy’s own insights. Here is the latest dilemma – what are your thoughts?

My dilemma is that I have recently proved that my colleague has lied and is continuing to lie about the death of her 22-year-old son.

She announced three months ago that her son had been battling lymphoma for the past two years and that his death was imminent. A month later she told us he had passed away. As colleagues we have been on a rollercoaster of emotions and have offered support, love and comfort to a grieving mother while she remained at work in an effort to cling on to normality.

Since her son’s “death” this colleague has made comments that made me doubt that her situation was genuine. After a little research I have proved that her son is very much alive and away studying at university.

My colleagues seem to be unaware of her lie and continue to be pulled into her web of deceit.

I feel she has taken advantage of our compassion and continues to abuse our trust. She has used this situation to make demands at work, such as a decrease in hours.

If I don’t say anything then the lie continues, but if I decide to tackle it I am unsure as to what course of action to take.

I am worried how I will be perceived by management and colleagues for doubting and researching her life. She is a well-liked member of the team and they will be shocked and hurt.

Do you need advice on a work issue? For Jeremy’s and readers’ help, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@theguardian.com. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or to reply personally.

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